Halibut, what an idiot!
02/02/08 17:13 Filed in: tall tales
The stupidest thing I've done on a boat, so far...
In 2006 when I still lived in Seattle, I decided I wanted to catch a Halibut in my 14' runabout.
Since then I have "actually' caught one of the huge bastards (on a charter) I realize how stupid that was in the first place.
OK, so anyway; I decide I wanted to catch a halibut, so I spent maybe $150 in Gear, I load up my 14' wood runabout at 3 am. Now, at the time I actually thought to myself, "better grab my leatherman" but I couldn't find it, and I was burning prime fish'n time so I decided to leave without it. Then I drove from the nice calm south Puget sound where I lived, up to Port Townsend, which is about a 90 mile drive.
So about an hour and half later, I pull into P.T. at the crack of dawn (because I am a hardcore fisherman)
I prep the boat, and back down the ramp, launch the boat and then park and lock the truck.
I get all settled into the boat, which is when I realize I don't have a key to start the boat. Hrrmm, so I walk back to the truck, and thoroughly search the truck... But No Key!
Then, I remember that the Honda dealer told me all the Honda keys were the same, and I 'remember' that the key in MY boat will actually come out with the engine running. SO I wonder if the key isn't really so much a "key" as really just a "switch." So I figure "what the hell" and I try my Truck key, and the little Honda 20 fires right up!
Very proud of myself for being so resourceful, (I think I actually said "I'm a freakin Genius" aloud, I tear off around Point Wilson and into the straight of Juan De Fuca, A.K.A. the North Pacific frikkin' Ocean (in my 14' runabout).
It's a beautiful, calm, sunshiny, day and I find a spot that looks ideal on the chart so I kill the motor and have a very peaceful couple hours fishing for my record Halibut.
At about 1pm, I decide this _spot_ is obviously flawed because; I, the 'expert' fisherman have not caught anything, so I reel up and turn the key to start the motor.
At this point several things become really clear, really fast.
1) the key is in fact a lock, not just a switch.
2) the lock will go from 'on' to 'start' with anything, like a truck key, however the actual locking part kicks in somewhere between off and on.
3) the truck key will not budge the boat's ignition from the off position.
OK, so I "jiggle' the key repeatedly (you might say desperately) trying to get it to turn on. At which point I break off the truck's ignition key in the lock.
It's about now that I realize that I'm in a somewhat bad spot, and I also realize I have also forgotten my VHF radio at home with my leatherman.
I do have a cell though, so I call my girlfriend, and as calmly as possible I say, "I'm OK (for now) and I don't want to alarm you, but could you maybe drive up to Port Townsend after work?" Because best case, I'm not driving the truck back home.
OK, so then I start thinking of my options:
1) call the coast guard. I figure I'll have to admit I left without a key, and I really think they might ridicule me. It's 3pm, calm, I'm a mile offshore and not really an 'emergency yet. And, I realize I actually don't know where I am to give them a position anyway.
2) call vessel assist. Again, I might have to admit I left the dock using my truck key rather that the boat's key, AND this option will cost me at least $300. (if they can find me) My credit card's kind of Maxed, and I wonder if I even have $300 available on my card...
OK, so I decide I better try and work this out on my own, after all I still have a cell.
SO I call my best friend in Chicago, and as casually as possible ask him to Google "how to hotwire a Honda marine engine" just to be prudent I also tell him, "hey, by the way, if you don't hear from me in a couple hours call the coast guard" naturally, he had some questions...
This turns out to be somewhat less than helpful. SO like 10 minutes later, after ridding myself of my hysterically laughing; so called "friend," I call 411 and I connect to local my Honda dealer. "hello" says the Honda dealer.
"Yes, um, I was wondering, if you might be able to tell me how to hotwire a 1999 Honda 20" I said as innocently as possible.
"UM" says the dealer... "Ummmmmmmmmmm" he says again. "wellllll" service is closed today, I have no idea" and then of course he asks the dreaded question: "why?" he asked.
I don't have time for this inquisition,so I lie and say: "I lost the key overboard" He says " how did you lose a FLOATING key?" Doh! Flummoxed I just hang up.
So I search my "hardcore fisherman's" tackle box: and I have: fish-hooks, a knife, some plastic pliers and forceps.
SO I spend about 90 minutes with the plastic needle-nose plier getting the throttle control's 4 bolts out so I can open up the box and bypass the ignition switch.
Then I take the knife, and slowly get all of the Phillips screws out to take the control unit apart. All the screws except one... Which breaks the tip of my Knife off.
AARGH! The key switch in this stupid box is just plastic, how tough could it be!?!? I saw at it, I stick the knife in it and twist (further breaking the knife) I bang on it. After about an hour of cave-man banging I give up, I cannot get this one stupid screw out and that one screw is holding the whole thing together. I curse honda for using so many screws when apparently all they needed was that one magic screw.
But I have a sharp fillet knife, so I decide maybe I can cut the control cable and hotwire the motor. This is somewhat optimistic since I have never hotwired anything, ever. And Google sucks! Not one useful fact one it about how to hotwire a honda outboard!
I have the cable in a loop, and I have the knife ready to cut, and I pause, because I know this is going to cost a lot to repair. Right then I suddenly remember that the controller is actually connected, with a connector! (duh!)
SO I unwrap the tape protecting the plug and I unplug the controller rather than cutting it off. then I cut a section of exposed wire off the stern light and hook it to the battery. (then I realize that if this doesn't work I might need that stern light soon)
I have like 9 pins, and I have no idea what they do. I connect the wire to the first pin, and HUGE SPARK! ok, I guess that's the ground...
At this point, it dawns on me that I don't actually have a fire extinguisher aboard, and things actually could get worse....
I decide to risk it, and on the Second pin and I get a "click" OK, so I guess that's the fuel pump maybe? Third pin and it turns over!
So I rig the wire to touch the 2nd and 3rd pins at the same time and the motor actually starts. The wire then falls out, but the motor keeps running anyway, this confuses me greatly but I decide not to try and figure it out just then.
I am ashamed to admit this, but since the motor was now running, and it was still a nice day, I actually seriously considered finding another spot, fishing some more and just letting it idle. But I thought better of it and decided to head to the boat ramp.
It was flat calm, til I got to Point Wilson.
Many of you don't know this, but locals will attest to the fact that when the tide is going out, and the wind is coming in, Point Wilson can be some of the fiercest water there is. I was going about 5 MPH, in 6-8 foot very confused waves, which were breaking over the windscreen and into my face.
Now, finally, I decide to put on a life Jacket.
I actually manage to get to Port Townsend near dark (and it's a good thing since I cannibalized my stern light) and as I'm coming in I realize I actually don't know how to turn off the motor. I hatch a plan to disconnect the fuel line at the dock, but then I realize I can simply reconnect the controller which is locked in the off position.
Then , I sit at the dock for three hours while my girlfriend fights 5-oclock traffic and takes a ferry from Seattle to come let me into my truck.
So I know your probably thinking there are so many stupid things here; it's hard to tell which is actually the worst part of this story. But there's actually more.
1) My truck had been previously stolen, and the Door lock and ignition worked with just a screwdriver. I lived with that for like two years, but then I just paid $500 to get new locks a couple days before this incident happened. I could have at least driven home (and saved $500) but I was trying to be 'safe.' That didn't work out how I planned.
2) A week later, I found the Honda key in the cooler. Which was in the boat the whole time.
3) a week after that, I got a bill from Boat U.S. to renew Vessel Assist towing insurance I didn't know I still had in force from my previous boat. I could have gotten towed for free.
The ignition I ruined cost me nearly $200 to fix, and of course, the boat dealer said "Was that you who called the other day?" Doh! "why'd you hang up?" BUSTED!!! "Hey why do you need a whole ignition if you just lost the key?" AAAAARRGH!! Of course then after i explained myself he had to tell everyone else in the shop.
Now, I'm really confused, I don't know if I'm just a moron, and should abandon my offshore sailing dreams and stay very far away from boats, or If I'm actually sort of a "sailor" cuz I did manage to get home without drowning, or help from the Coast Guard.
I did learn a few things though:
I bought a portable GPS.
I zip-tied a key up under the boat's dash.
I have a tool kit aboard.
I have a fire extinguisher aboard.
I got a hide-a-key for my truck
And if you ever want to steal a boat with a Honda, disconnect the controller, hotwire the third pin 'til it starts and it'll run all day. (or better yet just start it by had with the 'emergency' crank under the cowl that I discovered months later. I have to give it to Honda, this is actually a great feature if your controller or battery dies)
© 2007 Aaron Lynch & Ruth Hargiss
In 2006 when I still lived in Seattle, I decided I wanted to catch a Halibut in my 14' runabout.
Since then I have "actually' caught one of the huge bastards (on a charter) I realize how stupid that was in the first place.
OK, so anyway; I decide I wanted to catch a halibut, so I spent maybe $150 in Gear, I load up my 14' wood runabout at 3 am. Now, at the time I actually thought to myself, "better grab my leatherman" but I couldn't find it, and I was burning prime fish'n time so I decided to leave without it. Then I drove from the nice calm south Puget sound where I lived, up to Port Townsend, which is about a 90 mile drive.
So about an hour and half later, I pull into P.T. at the crack of dawn (because I am a hardcore fisherman)
I prep the boat, and back down the ramp, launch the boat and then park and lock the truck.
I get all settled into the boat, which is when I realize I don't have a key to start the boat. Hrrmm, so I walk back to the truck, and thoroughly search the truck... But No Key!
Then, I remember that the Honda dealer told me all the Honda keys were the same, and I 'remember' that the key in MY boat will actually come out with the engine running. SO I wonder if the key isn't really so much a "key" as really just a "switch." So I figure "what the hell" and I try my Truck key, and the little Honda 20 fires right up!
Very proud of myself for being so resourceful, (I think I actually said "I'm a freakin Genius" aloud, I tear off around Point Wilson and into the straight of Juan De Fuca, A.K.A. the North Pacific frikkin' Ocean (in my 14' runabout).
It's a beautiful, calm, sunshiny, day and I find a spot that looks ideal on the chart so I kill the motor and have a very peaceful couple hours fishing for my record Halibut.
At about 1pm, I decide this _spot_ is obviously flawed because; I, the 'expert' fisherman have not caught anything, so I reel up and turn the key to start the motor.
At this point several things become really clear, really fast.
1) the key is in fact a lock, not just a switch.
2) the lock will go from 'on' to 'start' with anything, like a truck key, however the actual locking part kicks in somewhere between off and on.
3) the truck key will not budge the boat's ignition from the off position.
OK, so I "jiggle' the key repeatedly (you might say desperately) trying to get it to turn on. At which point I break off the truck's ignition key in the lock.
It's about now that I realize that I'm in a somewhat bad spot, and I also realize I have also forgotten my VHF radio at home with my leatherman.
I do have a cell though, so I call my girlfriend, and as calmly as possible I say, "I'm OK (for now) and I don't want to alarm you, but could you maybe drive up to Port Townsend after work?" Because best case, I'm not driving the truck back home.
OK, so then I start thinking of my options:
1) call the coast guard. I figure I'll have to admit I left without a key, and I really think they might ridicule me. It's 3pm, calm, I'm a mile offshore and not really an 'emergency yet. And, I realize I actually don't know where I am to give them a position anyway.
2) call vessel assist. Again, I might have to admit I left the dock using my truck key rather that the boat's key, AND this option will cost me at least $300. (if they can find me) My credit card's kind of Maxed, and I wonder if I even have $300 available on my card...
OK, so I decide I better try and work this out on my own, after all I still have a cell.
SO I call my best friend in Chicago, and as casually as possible ask him to Google "how to hotwire a Honda marine engine" just to be prudent I also tell him, "hey, by the way, if you don't hear from me in a couple hours call the coast guard" naturally, he had some questions...
This turns out to be somewhat less than helpful. SO like 10 minutes later, after ridding myself of my hysterically laughing; so called "friend," I call 411 and I connect to local my Honda dealer. "hello" says the Honda dealer.
"Yes, um, I was wondering, if you might be able to tell me how to hotwire a 1999 Honda 20" I said as innocently as possible.
"UM" says the dealer... "Ummmmmmmmmmm" he says again. "wellllll" service is closed today, I have no idea" and then of course he asks the dreaded question: "why?" he asked.
I don't have time for this inquisition,so I lie and say: "I lost the key overboard" He says " how did you lose a FLOATING key?" Doh! Flummoxed I just hang up.
So I search my "hardcore fisherman's" tackle box: and I have: fish-hooks, a knife, some plastic pliers and forceps.
SO I spend about 90 minutes with the plastic needle-nose plier getting the throttle control's 4 bolts out so I can open up the box and bypass the ignition switch.
Then I take the knife, and slowly get all of the Phillips screws out to take the control unit apart. All the screws except one... Which breaks the tip of my Knife off.
AARGH! The key switch in this stupid box is just plastic, how tough could it be!?!? I saw at it, I stick the knife in it and twist (further breaking the knife) I bang on it. After about an hour of cave-man banging I give up, I cannot get this one stupid screw out and that one screw is holding the whole thing together. I curse honda for using so many screws when apparently all they needed was that one magic screw.
But I have a sharp fillet knife, so I decide maybe I can cut the control cable and hotwire the motor. This is somewhat optimistic since I have never hotwired anything, ever. And Google sucks! Not one useful fact one it about how to hotwire a honda outboard!
I have the cable in a loop, and I have the knife ready to cut, and I pause, because I know this is going to cost a lot to repair. Right then I suddenly remember that the controller is actually connected, with a connector! (duh!)
SO I unwrap the tape protecting the plug and I unplug the controller rather than cutting it off. then I cut a section of exposed wire off the stern light and hook it to the battery. (then I realize that if this doesn't work I might need that stern light soon)
I have like 9 pins, and I have no idea what they do. I connect the wire to the first pin, and HUGE SPARK! ok, I guess that's the ground...
At this point, it dawns on me that I don't actually have a fire extinguisher aboard, and things actually could get worse....
I decide to risk it, and on the Second pin and I get a "click" OK, so I guess that's the fuel pump maybe? Third pin and it turns over!
So I rig the wire to touch the 2nd and 3rd pins at the same time and the motor actually starts. The wire then falls out, but the motor keeps running anyway, this confuses me greatly but I decide not to try and figure it out just then.
I am ashamed to admit this, but since the motor was now running, and it was still a nice day, I actually seriously considered finding another spot, fishing some more and just letting it idle. But I thought better of it and decided to head to the boat ramp.
It was flat calm, til I got to Point Wilson.
Many of you don't know this, but locals will attest to the fact that when the tide is going out, and the wind is coming in, Point Wilson can be some of the fiercest water there is. I was going about 5 MPH, in 6-8 foot very confused waves, which were breaking over the windscreen and into my face.
Now, finally, I decide to put on a life Jacket.
I actually manage to get to Port Townsend near dark (and it's a good thing since I cannibalized my stern light) and as I'm coming in I realize I actually don't know how to turn off the motor. I hatch a plan to disconnect the fuel line at the dock, but then I realize I can simply reconnect the controller which is locked in the off position.
Then , I sit at the dock for three hours while my girlfriend fights 5-oclock traffic and takes a ferry from Seattle to come let me into my truck.
So I know your probably thinking there are so many stupid things here; it's hard to tell which is actually the worst part of this story. But there's actually more.
1) My truck had been previously stolen, and the Door lock and ignition worked with just a screwdriver. I lived with that for like two years, but then I just paid $500 to get new locks a couple days before this incident happened. I could have at least driven home (and saved $500) but I was trying to be 'safe.' That didn't work out how I planned.
2) A week later, I found the Honda key in the cooler. Which was in the boat the whole time.
3) a week after that, I got a bill from Boat U.S. to renew Vessel Assist towing insurance I didn't know I still had in force from my previous boat. I could have gotten towed for free.
The ignition I ruined cost me nearly $200 to fix, and of course, the boat dealer said "Was that you who called the other day?" Doh! "why'd you hang up?" BUSTED!!! "Hey why do you need a whole ignition if you just lost the key?" AAAAARRGH!! Of course then after i explained myself he had to tell everyone else in the shop.
Now, I'm really confused, I don't know if I'm just a moron, and should abandon my offshore sailing dreams and stay very far away from boats, or If I'm actually sort of a "sailor" cuz I did manage to get home without drowning, or help from the Coast Guard.
I did learn a few things though:
I bought a portable GPS.
I zip-tied a key up under the boat's dash.
I have a tool kit aboard.
I have a fire extinguisher aboard.
I got a hide-a-key for my truck
And if you ever want to steal a boat with a Honda, disconnect the controller, hotwire the third pin 'til it starts and it'll run all day. (or better yet just start it by had with the 'emergency' crank under the cowl that I discovered months later. I have to give it to Honda, this is actually a great feature if your controller or battery dies)
© 2007 Aaron Lynch & Ruth Hargiss